Epic Fights Need Epic Warcries

My friend Jenny and I were chatting several months ago about some of the battles between titans that we'd enjoy seeing. Sharks vs. lava monsters, Chuck Norris vs. Beatrix Kiddo, etc. The one we really latched onto, however, was cannibals vs. zombies, which seems like an appropriate match-up. I think it would be a short-lived battle, however, as the flesh of the zombies would probably turn the cannibals into their comrades. Perhaps we could refashion the infamous Boise Hole as a modern-day Colosseum for them to duke and dine in.

In the interest of marketing the event (a man's gotta make a dollar, right?), I've compiled a list of slogans based on popular food mottoes. I'm hoping that companies might sponsor these battles if they already have a catchy phrase slightly tweaked to fit. Here they are -

1. SUBWAY - Eat Flesh!

2. FOLGERS - The Best Part of Waking Up is Fingers in Your Cup.

3. TACO BELL - Make a Run For the Bored Guy.

A couple that didn't even need modification -

4. KFC - Finger Lickin' Good!

5. MANWICH - You Don't Have to be a Man to Love Manwich!

And one very disturbing non-mod -

6. RICE KRISPIES - Snap, Crackle and Pop!

BONUS: Two electronics slogans modded -

7. AT&T - Reach Out and Munch Someone.

8. TIMEX - Takes a Licking and Keeps on Kicking!
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4 responses:

Marianne Elixir said...

Slightly disturbing, indeed!

Sarah said...


Dad said...

All I can say is that there is something very wrong about actually owning a Kill Bill My Little Pony. Or even simply being able to locate on to photograph. Very wrong.

オテモヤン said...
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