Oh, Emily Post...

You're so very clever. Just listen to her magnificent words -

“Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory”

That's just the sort of line I'd practice in order to ZING a particularly monopolizing conversationalist. Then I'll flounce away appearing well-educated and unbearably hip.

"I'll verbally beat you down if you make fun of my pin."

Osh - Karr, of the planet Akka Demi

Now that you - and the fug girls - have had ample time to deliberate over sartorial missteps made by attendees last Sunday and how these poor choices affect foreign policy, say a tiny prayer of gratitude for the boys over at Geeksaresexy.net, who've helped me put the manufactored glamour of the Academy Awards into perspective with their live blogging of the event.

"Take me to your leading lady."